When John S. Barry graduated from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology with his MBA, he sort of slid into a career that changed the world. How appropriate.
Sufficiently lubricated by family ties (his father-in-law owned the business), Barry, who died in July, took over, and transformed what eventually became the WD-40 Co.
WD-40. Initially, the magical brew of moisturized, aerosolized puppy dog tails and stuff was an anti-corrosive, but over time, we learned that WD-40 lubricated all manner of friction, cured cancer, stopped squeaks, and improved the aroma and texture of Caesar salads when you were out of anchovies.
Although, as longtime readers of this column know, I am an expert on almost everything, I am not, to use the technical term, a “handy guy.” I was terrified when first recruited by Banker & Tradesman that I would be expected to be the “tradesman” part – sent out to repair condo furnaces and ATM machines and stuff.
When my wife (whose father was a handy guy) first asked me for a Phillips screwdriver, I asked her who “Phillip” was.
But even I knew that WD-40 cured all manner of hiccup and sin. It has transformed the world (it sells in 160 countries, including New Hampshire) and, more importantly, has done wonders for Massachusetts.
After years of hostility to charter schools in Massachusetts from Gov. Patrick and assorted teacher unions and other traditional public-school monopolists, the whole bunch of them were thrown in a swimming pool filled with WD-40. All the friction disappeared. We have now been promised that charter schools will pop up like the dandelions of spring, which, by the way, thrive when fertilized with WD-40.
U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan attributed the change of heart in the Commonwealth to potential stimulus money and a pail of WD-40.
Any effort to cut back on WD-40 consumption can lead to trouble. In years past, candidates to be elementary school teachers in Massachusetts could lather themselves up with a coating of WD-40 and sail through the licensing exam without knowing any math at all, except for how many years they would have to work before the pension kicked in.
Now, WD-40 has been banned from the test sites and almost 75 percent of the elementary school teaching candidates flunked the new math subtest. The new test included questions on statistics and the probability that a random sampling of garages would have a can of WD-40 on the shelf, next to the bug spray.
In The Slipstream
The British newspaper, “Financial Times,” published an upbeat profile of the East Boston neighborhood’s real estate market last spring, with the only real complaint being the noise from Logan airport. Immediately, area real estate agents started handing out cans of WD-40 to potential buyers, so they would have less trouble closing their windows in a hurry when a plane flew by.
Harvard Professor Regina Herzlinger has long favored a Libertarian-flavored health care reform package, with national markets, consumer freedom to buy pretty much whatever kinds of coverage suits them, and little government mucking around, except for basic oversight of fairness. She predicts that her system would lead to many innovations, including free prescriptions for WD-40, because it prevents water buildup more cost effectively than diuretics and stuff.
Cans of WD-40 are an important accoutrement for all three of the state’s Republican legislators on the rare occasions when they are invited by Democratic leaders to “bring their concerns to the table.” When the GOP guys bring up something hilarious like cost containment or tax limits, they coat themselves with the WD-40 so they can slip out the door more easily, since it will be clogged with fleeing Democrats.
Here at Banker and Tradesman, most of the news and opinion staff takes a ritual WD-40 bath each morning, to avoid the inevitable corrosion that comes with editing by crusty bosses.
My advice to MIT: a John Barry/WD-40 Museum of Water Displacement and Lots and Lots of Other Stuff. The facility could be huge. What, after all, is not somehow touched by the magic of WD-40?
