Cohen the Columnist is the only constant in life. Week in, week out, there he is – even when his payroll check bounces, even when he bursts an appendix, even when he’d rather be sitting on the beach, drinking goofy red drinks.

Think about your work environment. One year, the boss decides to decentralize – dumping what had been corporate office responsibilities and giving them to the various divisions, which are “closer to the customer” or something like that.

After a year or two of watching the divisions make a mess of things, or, perhaps, the boss changes and the new boss is a big centralization fan, or, just because change is invigorating, the word goes out: we’re going to centralize important decision making in the corporate office.

“Centralized purchasing” is another one of those things that comes and goes. Even the vendors at risk of losing a relationship with one division or department know that the trick is to wait out the change – until the managers who dreamed it up are gone and the idea is forgotten.

The environment is no different in the public sector – especially when times are good and the bosses are awash in tax revenue. The social service types are particularly adept at dreaming up new and often dubious initiatives, which promise little in the way of accountability for results – and will disappear and be forgotten down the road.

Police, for instance, are well-trained to keep their mouths shut about the various schemes inflicted on them to “help” fight urban crime. All manner of facilitators and community liaisons and ex-gang members who have found the Lord are hired on by municipalities or non-profits to pretend to fight crime – with the understanding that the variables are so complex that no one will actually be able to determine whether any of it actually works.

The dirty little secret: Not to worry; this, too, shall pass.

Cop Out

The Boston Police Department has announced plans to lay off nine of its 10 “community liaison” staffers – on board to “facilitate” and such stuff in high-crime neighborhoods. Times are tough; memories are short. The real cops know who to jettison; “liaison” trends come and go. Now, perhaps, we can expect a “get tough on crime” campaign that forgets about community group hugs and urges the cops to arrest every creepy guy in the neighborhood.

The timing was good for the budget mayhem aimed at the softer side of crime control. At the same time targets were being painted on the budgetary butts of the community liaisons, three anti-crime street workers funded by the Boston Foundation were arrested on charges that they were engaging in the kinds of activities that they were supposed to be discouraging.

Street cops long had their suspicions about the value of these “street workers,” many of whom had committed indiscretions that provided them with the credentials to negotiate with gangs and thugs. The cops held their tongues. This, too, shall pass.

There’s no end to the debate over whether cities should focus on “safety,” as in, arrest the bad guys, or in addressing “root causes,” as in populating the mean streets with social services and warm-hearted community healers. The enthusiasms come in cycles; no particular approach survives much more than an election cycle or a change in municipal leadership.

Complicating the evaluations is the reality that in the inner-city environments, the distinctions between criminal and victim aren’t always easy to determine. A study several years ago found that almost 90 percent of the murder victims in Baltimore in 2007 had criminal records.

The “fad of the month” approach to public-sector planning isn’t limited to traditional police work, of course. Few agencies bounce back and forth among competing approaches with more enthusiasm than the child protection and “family services” providers.

Depending on who might be in charge any given year, or what the headlines have offered up for justification, the family services types might be gung-ho about “intact families” one month – and then, next month, eager to snatch kids out of harm’s way from dysfunctional moms with creepy boyfriends sulking in the back room.

The universal lesson learned for private and public-sector staff: Be patient; you can outlive the bastards.