LIKEABLE EVIL 

Here’s the thing about Vornado Realty Trust, the evil New York developer that controls the hole in the ground where Filene’s Basement used to be: Their CEO, Michael Fascitelli, is actually a pretty funny guy.

The Teller knows this because Fascitelli hopped on the shuttle to Logan last week and made a rare public appearance in the Back Bay.

Vornado executives never speak to the press. They also rarely appear in public – for the same reasons, apparently, that werewolves tend to dodge full moons. When they’re out there, on their own, just straight telling people about all about the schemes cooped up inside their fevered brains, their true evil essence is exposed.

At least, that’s what happened the last time a suit from Vornado opened up his trap. Steve Roth, the New York REIT’s chairman, recently got caught telling a roomful of Columbia University students about the wonders of blight. The next thing you know, Boston Mayor Tom Menino publicly threatened to seize the Filene’s pit via eminent domain.

So it was amid a good deal of curiosity that Fascitelli came to Boston last week. He didn’t just appear at a real estate convention. He also showed his mug in the very same building as Menino, the man who had just threatened to steal said pit away from him.

The irony was too much for the moderator of a speakers panel featuring Fascitelli.

"I’m surprised you made it out of Logan," the moderator said. "I figured the police here had orders to arrest anyone from Vornado on sight.

Fascitelli laughed and said, "I just want to mention I love Mayor Menino. Mayor Menino, I love you!"

He then talked candidly about the industry’s future for 90 solid minutes, at one point unleashing this gem: "You’ve got to keep your people sharp. One guy said to me, ‘On this deal, we’re only going to make $22 million.’ I almost fired him. Where I come from, $22 million is a lot of [bleeping] money! I apologize for swearing. I tried to give it up for Lent, but Lent’s over."

When it was over, Fascitelli announced that he would not be discussing Filene’s with the media. And then he held court with reporters for twenty minutes, talking about Filene’s, cap rates, distressed debt, and his undying love for Boston’s mayor.

"I think he’s a great mayor, he’s great for Boston, and we think the world of him," Fascitelli said. Now, how about a good story for once, he asked?

"You know, I’m coming back here tomorrow. I’ve got to sleep here tonight!"

An analyst from SNL Financial interrupted to ask about the REIT industry.

"You’re the youngest," Fascitelli gushed, "but I like you the best."

When the SNL analyst threw up another question, Fascitelli stopped cold, then commented on the 24-year-old male analyst’s aggression, and how it must win him favor from the fairer sex.

We think we like this guy…