Cat Scratch Fever

OK, we’ll admit it: The Teller loves the TV show Hoarders.

Call us cruel, but watching homeowners try to cope with debilitating mental illness while haggling with saintly social workers and fed-up family members over floor-to-ceiling garbage piles they refer to as their “stuff” makes us feel better about ourselves. Sure, our dingy apartment floors may not have seen a mop in months, and maybe the bathroom is a terrifying collection of various forms of DNA. But hey, at least we’re not on Hoarders, right?

But sometimes, we can’t help but feel bad for the poor homeowners – and even worse for those poor landlords suckered into renting to a hoarder in the first place. It all begs the question of just what, exactly, happens when these formerly hoarded-in homes hit the market?

Well, it seems some have ended up in an annual “ugliest home” contest sponsored by HomeVestors, a company that specializes in buying beat up homes, restoring them, and flipping them for profit.

The entrants in this year’s contest certainly look like a collection of hoarder homes. Our favorite might be an entry from Frisco, Texas.

The house looks nice enough from the outside, with an arched entryway and windows, solid brickwork and a fan-light over the front door. Imagine, then, the shock and horror homeowner Robert Pittana felt upon realizing he had rented the property to a less-than-hygienic tenant.

According to a story on HomeVestors’ contest that appeared recently on CNNMoney.com, “Pittana had rented the house to someone who ‘went off the deep end,’ he said. Neighbors informed Pittana that they saw five or six cats trying to get out of the house. When he entered, he couldn’t stay long: There were cat feces everywhere, even on the ceiling.”

Pittana eventually was forced to strip out all carpeting and flooring material, bleach the walls, repaint and bring in an ozone machine to drive out the stink. And he still owns the home, unable (we can’t imagine he’s unwilling) to sell.

So to all our dear real estate agent readers out there that may be tempted to complain about a somewhat shabby listing in need of some TLC, remember this: If there’s no cat feces on the ceiling, you’re in better shape than some.