Laughter Is The Best Mortgage Payment
If only comedy paid the mortgage, then Yovette Mumford’s Boston Yacht Haven wouldn’t be bankrupt and staring down liquidation right now. Unfortunately, the only payoff from last week’s bankruptcy hearing between the U.S. Trustee’s office, Mumford’s creditors and her lawyer was a few good laughs from the gallery.
When last we saw Mumford in April, the two-time felon and onetime in-law of Congressman Ed Markey was dodging a foreclosure auction at her $11.7 million North End marina by filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.
The Teller didn’t actually see Mumford last week – she’s under house arrest, and the dutiful Lo-Jack ankle bracelet’s beeping away – but the convicted fraudster’s legend loomed large over the proceedings.
With details on short supply, Eric Bradford, the U.S. Trustee attorney running the 341 meeting, tried wrack his memory for bits from Mumford’s many appearances in the local press.
"Wasn’t there an article in the newspaper about her?" Bradford recalled.
The marina’s manager, Maurice Carroll, replied flatly, "She says the Globe has been persecuting her for years."
Once things got down to it, Carroll and Mumford’s attorney, Stephen Midgley, couldn’t answer many of Bradford’s questions, which The Teller guesses is the difficulty with representing a convicted liar.
One such question: What was Mumford in jail for?
(Carroll: "Uttering? I remember the word uttering.")
Another: Couldn’t Mumford read the deed restrictions that clearly prevented her from operating a restaurant and bar, or hosting weddings and bar mitzvahs at the marina? (Midgley: "At first, there was a misunderstanding on the level of business and the types of business allowed.")
Yet another: The bank that gave Mumford her $10 million mortgage, Northern Bank & Trust, didn’t see the restrictions either?
(Carroll: "It appears to me that no one caught them." Midgley: "It’s a mess! It’s very convoluted.")
And finally: Why exactly did the guy who actually signed the marina’s Chapter 11 filings, Mumford’s son, Garron Markey, skip out on the hearing to roll around L.A.? (Carroll: "I’m not exactly sure what he does – productions and so forth.")
The marina’s manager did know one thing, though. The Yacht Haven was minutes away from having its electricity cut off, and without Northern Bank letting Mumford cut payroll checks on the marina’s frozen checking account, they’d really be sunk. The embattled marina owner had told him so herself. So imagine his surprise when the bank’s lawyer got on speakerphone and told the Treasury agent that Mumford had no such permission to use that account.
It turns out the bank doesn’t like it when you presume to spend its money. That is, the tiny sliver of the money it was actually able to secure from the heap of cash you actually owe it.
With the way Carroll and Midgley looked when the bank’s lawyer was done explaining that to Bradford, house arrest was looking much more preferable to actually attending the meeting. There are probably fewer ticked off Trustee agents, anyway.
Citibank, You’re Missing All The Fun!
You know that annoying phone call you get from your friends when they’re all some place having a good time and you’re not? They pass the phone around from person to person, and rub their enjoyment right in your face.
All right, so a phone call from Rep. Barney Frank, Gov. Deval Patrick, Mayor Thomas Menino, and 1,000 other attendees at the Massachusetts Affordable Housing Alliance’s (MAHA) soft second loan event on May 28 probably wouldn’t go exactly like the one described above. But that’s the type of phone call Citibank executives apparently received, in an attempt to cajole them into participating.
In fact, MAHA directly called out Citibank for turning away its advances for the last two years. MAHA pointed out that Eastern Bank has been involved since 1996, and Bank of America started as soon as they bought its way into the area in 2003.
"Two of our local lenders stepped up to offer good, sustainable mortgages last night for first-time, low-to-moderate income buyers," MAHA board Vice President LaTanya Ramsey said. "This is something we should all celebrate. But there are other banks – like Citibank – who need to join them!"
MAHA apparently also sent e-mails and postcards to Citibank, shaming them for not participating despite having 30 branches in the commonwealth, and servicing credit card and student loans for residents.
The Teller knows how its staff responds to the group voice mail – wistful anger – and that’s just from our combined five friends. We imagine a phone call from a congressman, a governor, a mayor and 1,000 random people elicits a slightly different response: obstinate fury.
