Substantive Demands
The Teller really wants to like these “Occupy” folks. But they’re stupid.
When they camped in Boston’s Dewey Square last summer, we waited and waited for the trash barrel-through-the-window moment, but it never came. The whole thing was too much David Crosby, and not enough Rage Against the Machine.
“Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats,” H.L. Mencken wrote. The Teller thinks the Occupy folks are a long way from making that kind of commitment. There looked to be some pretty cozy camping gear in Dewey Square last year.
So, the movement has taken to buying shares of big banks like Wells Fargo and Bank of America in order to gain access to their shareholders’ meetings.
The Teller loves intrigue, but the Occupy folks can’t even do this right.
A couple of weeks ago, a bunch of these new Wells Fargo shareholders “crashed” the Wells Fargo shareholders meeting.
The Teller wants to familiarize the Occupiers with a piece of vocab: Activist investor. And here’s another that a good number of the protesters probably came across in literature class: Implicit decorum. But there’s nothing implicit about the decorum of a shareholders meeting.
These things are run according to what The Teller thought were well-known rules of order. After you buy stock, you can go to the shareholders meeting and officially propose the company take the action you desire. It happens all the time.
But no, the Occupy/99 percent folks decided to just show up and yell.
“The 99 percent is tired of always getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop,” some kid told the Associated Press at the Wells meeting. “They haven’t felt an impact like this before.”
You’re right, pal. Shareholders usually make substantive demands. You were forgotten just as soon as you were escorted out by the police.
But that hasn’t stopped the protesters from claiming victory and setting their sights on Bank of America after “the people’s victories at Wells Fargo, General Electric and other shareholder meetings this spring.”
“We are connecting the dots between their illegal practices in foreclosures, funding climate change, and polluting our democracy and are taking bold action to reclaim our lives and our planet,” said some girl who is a member of something called “99 Percent Power.”
The Occupy/99 percent/whatever wants Bank of America to put a moratorium on foreclosures; “pay its fair share” of taxes; stop funding coal companies in favor of renewable energy projects; and stop making political contributions.
They’ll be at BofA’s shareholders meeting May 9. The Teller doubts we’ll hear, “I’d like to propose a motion” from any of them.
Perhaps a little dividend check would help.
